Everything In Between
by Kay the Cricketed
Summary: (Shounen ai, Kensuke) Just a sappy, middle-of-the-night-AGAIN fic, where Ken considers love and being in love with someone. ^^;; It's... short and sweet, I'd HOPE. Mweh.


Everything in Between  
  
By Kay  
  
Disclaimer: ... hmph. Well, if I owned anything, I wouldn't have let them marry off Ken. ^_^;; So I imagine I do NOT own them. Yet. There's always later... ::laughs evily::  
  
Author's Ramblings: Wah! It's been so long since I've written a decent fic... still haven't done it. But it's a fic! So I can post it! ::cheers:: Kensuke, as usual! Um... and... that's it! Sappy, idiotic babble, and lotsa weird talk. Enjoy! ;) Bring your bottle of Herbal Essence and some OJ!  
  
... did I mention this fic was really bad? ^^;;  
  
// - lyrics  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
//Tsk tsk  
You say as you close the door behind you  
I catch my breath at the look  
Swimming in your eyes//  
  
People will tell you that true happiness is unreachable.  
  
They would be wrong- obviously these dispirited people are walking lonelier roads than I have in my life, not bothering to notice that the sidewalk is much cleaner than the gravel. No one bothers to look up from their desperate musings, all preoccupied with how to be filled with joy rather than just going ahead and getting on with it. Simpler processes are always the right ones to follow.  
  
So, these lost souls who colour their robes black and blue, walking the endless path of ignorance, will probably never know the feeling of sunlight beaming on their skin. They don't bother to look up and around them, reaching to far inside, to the darker regions most fear treading. Yet it's that fear which makes them yearn to go that far down; it's a longing of things we don't understand that makes us forget what happiness in simplicity should be.  
  
I was once one of those people, but he showed me the light. Took my pale hands in his tanned, slender ones- always the eager teenager with no concept of caution- and pulled me forcibly away from the open street. He set me on the sidewalk, dragging me along with him for the ride.  
  
Metaphorically speaking, that is. Though he practically did the same thing in real life, anyway.  
  
//Saviors never meant to die  
We keep holding onto tomorrow, like you taught me  
The things I've forgotten have past  
So far, all I've needed was your smile//  
  
I didn't understand him! Not at first, there was nothing about his bright grins and playful tones that I could comprehend. The game of life was all to new to me, after living in the black abyss for so long. It was like...  
  
It was as though I was reborn, a second chance given to me on a silver platter. I never thought it would be so horribly easy to claim it, but there it was, a truthful declaration that for once in my entire existence, my life would have a meaning. *He* gave me that assurance. He gave me back my breath, stolen so quickly when my brother died.  
  
Those dark, shining mahogany eyes took every bit of me in, read over my soul, and decided to trust me. Forgetting my sins with the snap of fingers- forgiving- forgiving me for all the pain, the suffering, the black arm twisting of emotion and life, how I'd thrown it all away...  
  
And he forgave me.  
  
Not only that, but he coaxed me back into the light. For the first time, I had a true friend, besides my faithful companion Digimon- who was wonderful, but there was a deeper relief that someone else could care about me. A human in the world who wouldn't judge me like everyone else would. You have no idea of the sobbing, lovely aching relief- that someone else will share your breathing air without being suspicious of your intentions.  
  
Yes. Daisuke Motomiya was very different from the world.  
  
//They used to taunt me that I loved you  
Just pulled my hood over my eyes  
Told them to mind their own business, as it's all okay  
When you're holding my hand//  
  
Daisuke has a strange tendancy to forget people's mistakes- especially when they're directed towards his self. I can't count the amount of times he's brushed off insults or taunts from kids at school. There's something brave in that- perhaps it's why he has the Crest of Courage, rather than his recklessness to go into battle. Maybe it's more because he's strong in ways most people can't understand.  
  
Anyone else would have waited until they were sure I was trustworthy. He did not. Walking up to me briskly, grinning openly, he managed to place it all behind him and asked me to join his side.   
  
Anyone else would have buckled under the pressure when the amount of sadness life was bringing threatened to drown them. When soccer was to much, when everyone was upset with him, and we were in the middle of battles- he still remained strong and loyal to his own causes. Daisuke was still there, through his own troubles, to give me a cheer up talk.  
  
It takes strength to be sad and keep smiling. In that, he has courage.  
  
I love him more than anything for it. That he can liven up a room, whether in a good or bad way, simply being... alive. Alive like no one else can be, unworried, unoccupied with mistake or grief. If the world was a dark landscape, he would be it's sun- a dancing flame that rises the reds and golds in the sky to burn away all the black bruises we carry.  
  
Maybe I think to much of him... maybe not. It doesn't matter, anyway.  
  
It's how I see him- alive- that made me fall in love with Daisuke.  
  
//We have our destiny to complete  
I don't care, as long as you're with me  
It'll take a while to repent for all my deathly soul  
Then you came, and your life took it's toll  
You are, my electricity//  
  
So after it was over, I felt like life was beginning over for me.  
  
I started noticing things, because Daisuke pointed them out to me casually. Like how the rain feels on your back when you're playing a game of soccer, running down your skin in cool streams. And did you know when you drink Coke, that if you click the top of the can three times, it makes a lucky sound? It doesn't work with 7-Up for some reason, though.  
  
The redheaded angel showed me things without even realizing it. When he put on his shoes, I noticed how worn with age they were, because the cement is hard in this city. I saw what I didn't before- how the sunlight streams in just right through the heavens sometimes, and glimmers on the edges of the tall buildings that rise to meet it.   
  
I saw the sun and it's brilliance, the sounds of laughter became clearer, and the overwhelming knowledge of all around me almost knocked me senseless.  
  
Sounds dumb, doesn't it? I'm probably acting like a fool, but it's true- he opened my eyes when he took me away from the Darkness Road. Never once have I thanked him for it, but there's more years to get around to it. I'm okay.  
  
That's the best part for my lonely heart- I'm okay. Whenever Daisuke's around, laughing brilliantly for some stupid joke, or just leaning against my bedroom wall, I'm *okay*. Nothing else matters except him, and only him, the way his slim body moves when he whirls around quickly. His hands, when they're gesturing, how swift they move in the midair. His eyes sparkle with mischief before he will try talking you into something incredibly weird.  
  
Daisuke has three black shirts in his closet, but everything else is vivid and bright in colour. I've never seen him wear anything in just one shade- it's always a mixture of different ones. Blue vest with white shirt, and khaki shorts with a thin leather belt. Demin jackets, but only with his long sleeved shirts, or tank tops- he never wears short sleeves with those. Always goggles, unless he's sleeping, because they hurt his head.  
  
He intruiges me with his openness. He made me love him with his life.   
  
//Re-energize my laughter, coming from older parts  
Break some hearts  
Join in with your own tears for the life we never knew  
For all is golden in your world//  
  
Love is a very strange thing, I think. Probably why no one understands it.  
  
I think it's different for everyone, actually. There's a great number of people who describe it very opposite from what I feel so strongly for Daisuke- although there's no misunderstanding that what I feel is love.  
  
Some people say it's like falling off a cliff, or spinning on your tip toes. A thrilling, scary experience you can't stop once it's started. Others will tell you it's a safe, secure sort of emotion that wraps around you like an old fuzzy blanket, smooth against your skin. I've even heard someone say in school that "love" is nothing more than a hormonal imbalance.  
  
I don't know... If I had to properly define the word itself, "love" would be almost pages long just explaining the basics. Even then, I couldn't really get through the real feeling of it, although the explanation is on the very tip of my tongue.  
  
I can tell you what being in love with Daisuke is like, though.   
  
It's like everything in the world suddenly matters a lot more than before. When he stops to glance at something irrelevant, you have to stare long and hard at what on earth could have caught his attention about something so common. Also, you start wishing you could always ask him what's on his mind- sometimes Daisuke'll start staring off in the distance, and I'd die to know what he was thinking about.  
  
Loving Daisuke is a feeling that aches inside my chest, but in a very real, very good way. Suddenly even the pain and depression eases up, and I even feel like embracing it at times, because it reminds me I'm alive and in love. To be completely and totally attached to someone so pure, so untainted, it's... it's addicting.  
  
I want to always be by his side, forever and a day, stuck on him. I want to be able to wrap my arms around him in a thousand different ways; around his waist, over his shoulders, both, every which way I can wind myself around his slender form, I want to know that warmth. The need to protect him when he forgets to do it himself, the willing eagerness to cherish the smooth parts of his skin, and heal the wounded parts.  
  
It all winds down to a feeling of belonging. That no matter where I go, as long as he's clinging to my hand, it's *home*.  
  
As long as he's smiling at *me*, it's home.  
  
//We pay attention to the details  
We remember all the ways we fit together//  
  
Being in love with Daisuke Motomiya- an experience I know I can't forget. He's beautiful, you know. Perfect in ways I can't understand, in an imbalanced, free way, he is absolutely perfect. Rain glistens on his dark skin like tear drops when they streak on his face, and his hair lights up into burning bronze or cinnamon tresses.  
  
I want to count how many ways he can move, know every place where he is ticklish, and be able to place every meaning behind all the millions of ways his eyes flash in emotion.   
  
It's like an obsession, being in love, but in a good way that makes me shiver with happiness. That it, most of all- it's happiness. To be loved, and love back, utterly and completely, no boundries.  
  
I've met couples who claim they love each other, but can't stay together. Sometimes I want to smack them, instead of sighing in exasperation but faint understanding. I guess it's true for others, but sometimes it's hard to realize for most people, that there is no *can't*. There is bittersweet love, meant to be broken, but you should always have a happy ending.  
  
Yes, Daisuke gave me that philosophy. Amazing, isn't it?  
  
I think it's just... humanity doesn't get it, not all the time. It's so... so simple, somehow! There is the one I love, and I'll always love him. I'd forgive him almost anything, just because I know him that well.  
  
If I don't know him, it will be a pleasure to start that, as well. Half of me wishes to know every aspect of his mind and soul, but the other part of me yearns for the delicate task of learning everything about him over and over again. Like reading a book who's pages change with time, rewritten by other scholars.  
  
This is love with Daisuke. Affectionate, impatient sometimes, and incredibly loving. I haven't fallen off a cliff, though I did trip over ledges in the process. There was no twirling on my feet until I was dizzy enough to faint, even though I sometimes feel my heartbeat speed up a thousand noches when I'm around him. There's no warm security, although when I sleep tucked around him at night, my arms sheilding him from the darkness of our bedroom, I think nothing in the world could harm us.  
  
Of course, there's hormones. I don't think I need to explain those.  
  
//We have our destiny to complete  
I don't care, as long as you're with me  
It'll take a while to repent for all my deathly soul  
Then you came, and your life took it's toll  
You are, my electricity//  
  
Daisuke and I weren't together at first. It took me a while to realize how much I cared about him, and after that, it took even longer to admit it. When I did, I actually expected rejection, although he was always looking at me, finding excuses to touch me.  
  
However, I shouldn't have worried. I recieved something *far* from rejection.  
  
I shouldn't have expected anything less.  
  
We moved things a little slower than usual, but that was fine. I had what I wanted in the end of things anyway- or should I say the beginning? He tells me I've been the one to hold his heart from the very start, but I remember his obession with Hikari and wonder. It doesn't matter, though- I still love him, and he loves me *now*.  
  
There is such a thing as happiness, you see. It's being able to live a simple dream, only never having to wake up from your sleep. Coming home to Daisuke during my college years, finding his arms waiting, knowing I could take him out for coffee in the morning before I left.  
  
Joy was found through his lips, his teasing endearments, and the way he weaved into my life. Happy, cheerful Daisuke took me away from all the pain of my sins and memories. As long as I could do those little things with him, life was fine and dandy.  
  
Maybe it's strange or improbable. But when I come into the house to see the living room lamp on low, finding him sprawled gently across the couch, engrossed in a book or manga... everything comes together then. I know that I can go over to him and wrap my arms around him, to rest my chin on his shoulder and read a bit of what he's interested in.   
  
I remember our third anniversary, on my first year in the University, when he tried to surprise me with a nice dinner all spread out with candles. He stood there, so happy to see the surprised and shocked expression on his face, as he pointed to the carefully laid out table. Daisuke had slaved over dinner all day, something I'm sure took a great deal of effort. (My love never enjoyed the kitchen very much, ever since the incident with the microwave.)   
  
I still laugh when I remember one of the candles falling over, and setting it all on fire.  
  
Of course, *he* was crushed- there was a lot of time and love spent into that surprise, and because one of us accidently snagged the tablecloth and toppled over the candles, it was ruined. The oak table was scorched beyond repair, and the apartment smelled like smoke and heavy char for weeks.  
  
After I reassured him it wasn't his mistake, we went out and sat on the curb of our street. We had sobe and noodles from a nearby shop, then bought chocolate chip ice cream with money Daisuke found in the cracks of the sidewalk. (We'd left our wallets in the apartment, which was currently being aired out.) That night, we spent our anniversary sleeping over at Yamato's house, curled up on the sofa and trying to ignore all his cats.  
  
And you know what? It was one of the best day of my life.  
  
//I love falling asleep in your arms  
The sunrises seem so new to my surprised gaze  
Can we remake each other? Of glass,  
We two are made for one another//  
  
There were troubles. (Which made it all the better.) And we had our fights and quirrells. (Which made me love him more.) We never once got along when it came to the way the living room should be arranged. (To this day, it's a great mix of Daisuke and I, and eternally messy.)  
  
Our friends made it worthwhile in the ways they acted, and how they supported everything we did. Miyako, in particular, made a wonderful friend when it came to ways involving compromise and birthday surprises. To my horror, more than once, she's dragged me out shopping for Dai-chan's gifts.   
  
Of course, I tolert it because he usually ends up *loving* them. I don't know how the woman does it...  
  
My love and I have done a lot of things together, none of which I regret. We've travelled to France and accidently fallen asleep together on a fountain in one of the main squares- and as consequence, was robbed blind. I've been to every one of Taichi's soccer games with Daisuke, and every single one of his own, to cheer for them both. (Although I always cheered for Daisuke louder- obviously.)   
  
People who say you can't find true happiness are wrong.  
  
//We have our destiny to complete  
I don't care, as long as you're with me  
It'll take a while to repent for all my deathly soul  
Then you came, and your life took it's toll  
You are, my electricity//  
  
Daisuke Motomiya is my everything. And I won't let the darkness get in again, as long as he gives off that radiant light called "love".  
  
So now, we're going to live happily ever after, and everything in between.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
END - ::coughs:: TOld you it was sappy and bad... heheheheh... MWEH.  
  
Daisuke: O.O Ken sounds so... sentimentally insane. And obsessed.  
  
^_^;; ... yup! Just about, that is. Eep. Oh well... I wrote this late, and it's for one of my best friends Motomiya-chan, so strange Ken is allowed! BWAHAHAHAAA!  
  
Daisuke: ... riiiight.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
